June 30, 2005

Redneck Liberal

I have recently discovered that I am a liberal redneck, much to my chagrin.

Ok, so maybe rednecks don't use words like chagrin, so I guess I'm a bit more educated than your average redneck, but what can I do, ignore my brain...not likely, considering I'm a redneck.

So what makes a redneck?

Well, these are some of my redneck characteristics:

  • Big Assed Truck, with a lift and Big Assed Tires!

  • I own guns...in fact, I like 'em quite a bit and feel that I'm holding up to my responsibilities to this great country and it's Constitution by implementing the 2nd Amendment...I hate the fucking NRA though...those fuckers don't represent me in the least!

  • I've rolled far too many vehicles while 4x4ing, while, yes, drinking beer.

  • I've been known to dip a bit of Scoal...usually while drinking beer.

  • I've lived in a trailer and those were some of the best times of my life!

  • I have multiple cars in disrepair on blocks (well jack stands).

  • I like to wrestle when drinking beer...it's just damn good fun!

  • I have very strong opinions and won't hesitate to let you know about 'em...I am, however, open to reasoned debate, but that does require a partner with reasoning capabilities, not religious, subjective desperation.

  • I love my wife dearly, but certainly do like the naked ladies! Grrrr!

  • I ride my Harley with passion and feel that life has zero problems when I'm on her!

  • I curse like a sailor...well, I served in the US Navy, so maybe I got it from there...NOT...I've always fucking cursed, bitches!

  • I'm sure there are many more redneck attributes I have...my wife could probably rattle 'em off like the guest list at our wedding.

There are other attributes that some would say are required to be a redneck, like, not being a Yankee or a Liberal, but every proper redneck knows the answer to that one, "Yeah, fuck off!"

So, big fucking deal, right? Who the fuck cares if you're a redneck?

Well, for the longest time I looked down on redneck's. In fact, I've been a complete hypocrite about looking down on them...and...I'm sorry. I preach open-mindedness and objectivity ALL THE TIME, but here I've been stereotyping and assigning and maligning red-state, brain-washed motives and methods to ALL rednecks.

It just aint so.

My little brother (he's not so little) sent me to a website that was having a very heavy discussion on Evolution and it's proper place in the school. No big deal really, other than the fact that this website was a redneck's dream!

Here's the site...PLEASE, if you have the least interest in bow hunting, go check these great bunch of people out.

Well, my brother wanted me to offer my opinion and maybe a bit of insight...I do have 8 years of school and a deep, deep interest and love of science...but when I saw the website, I immediately thought, "Oh boy, here we go. This is gonna be a bunch of ignorant fuck rednecks, screaming about science disrupting their God given world view."

But boy was I wrong...way wrong. I read the discussion and was absolutely astonished and a bit ashamed, because this was one of THE most reasoned, thoughtful and compassionate discussions I'd ever read. Period. Even liberal web sites will get inflamed over such a discussion, yet here these guys were, with many different opinions both for/against Evolution, for/against Creationism being taught alongside Evolution, etc conducting reasoned discussion. In short, I had to reconstruct my world view of rednecks. Now, I'm sure that not everybody in the discussion is a redneck, but after talking with my brother about this, it appears that most of 'em are. I have rarely been involved in a discussion as compelling and FUN. Everyone was flat out courteous and respectful. What d'ya wanna bet that they drive well too? I can't apologize enough.

I only wish our leaders were rednecks.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

this has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever read. and you consider yourself a liberal...you're just a wolf in sheep's clothes you rascist bastard.

July 01, 2005 1:22 PM  
Blogger AintGonnaTakeItNoMore said...

Rascist? How did you get rascist out of that? It appears to me that the only right you have to an opinion came by virtue of your drunk mother and a dumb bastard that hadn't quite figured out how to pull out before he came.

July 01, 2005 1:25 PM  
Anonymous Jason said...

If I were a wolf, I would absolutly wear sheep's clothes. Sheep taste good y'all!

July 14, 2005 9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is some of the stupidest shit i have ever seen. i agree with the previous anonymous, but im not a dumbass like him, i can spell racist correctly. no wonder liberals are so fucking stupid, they have voters like yourself. by the way, being a redneck isnt something you should boast about. it means you are a piece of shit trailor trash bitch who couldnt afford college so you make a living as a hillbilly working in some scum-fucking shack. a recent study also shows that most men (79%) living in the country have or will have a 3-some with their wife and another women, thus proving that rednecks are worthless white trash, cheap bastards with no life. good luck with that 3-some, you long haired ugly shitface.

November 04, 2005 12:02 AM  
Blogger AintGonnaTakeItNoMore said...

Yet another red-state, dick wad that likes to hide behind anonymous monikers. Yellow fuckers.

So, you claim to be of a higher caliber mind, yet you somehow correlate a statistic demonstrating the likelihood of a threesome to all rednecks. Astonishing education you've demonstrated there Gus.

All this dribble doesn't even sound the typical conservative labored breathing though. I suspect your some leftist commie fuck that is still beating off to some "Priests and Their Minions" porno mag. Get a girlfriend ya homo.

November 07, 2005 10:38 AM  

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