June 30, 2005

Redneck Liberal

I have recently discovered that I am a liberal redneck, much to my chagrin.

Ok, so maybe rednecks don't use words like chagrin, so I guess I'm a bit more educated than your average redneck, but what can I do, ignore my brain...not likely, considering I'm a redneck.

So what makes a redneck?

Well, these are some of my redneck characteristics:

  • Big Assed Truck, with a lift and Big Assed Tires!

  • I own guns...in fact, I like 'em quite a bit and feel that I'm holding up to my responsibilities to this great country and it's Constitution by implementing the 2nd Amendment...I hate the fucking NRA though...those fuckers don't represent me in the least!

  • I've rolled far too many vehicles while 4x4ing, while, yes, drinking beer.

  • I've been known to dip a bit of Scoal...usually while drinking beer.

  • I've lived in a trailer and those were some of the best times of my life!

  • I have multiple cars in disrepair on blocks (well jack stands).

  • I like to wrestle when drinking beer...it's just damn good fun!

  • I have very strong opinions and won't hesitate to let you know about 'em...I am, however, open to reasoned debate, but that does require a partner with reasoning capabilities, not religious, subjective desperation.

  • I love my wife dearly, but certainly do like the naked ladies! Grrrr!

  • I ride my Harley with passion and feel that life has zero problems when I'm on her!

  • I curse like a sailor...well, I served in the US Navy, so maybe I got it from there...NOT...I've always fucking cursed, bitches!

  • I'm sure there are many more redneck attributes I have...my wife could probably rattle 'em off like the guest list at our wedding.

There are other attributes that some would say are required to be a redneck, like, not being a Yankee or a Liberal, but every proper redneck knows the answer to that one, "Yeah, fuck off!"

So, big fucking deal, right? Who the fuck cares if you're a redneck?

Well, for the longest time I looked down on redneck's. In fact, I've been a complete hypocrite about looking down on them...and...I'm sorry. I preach open-mindedness and objectivity ALL THE TIME, but here I've been stereotyping and assigning and maligning red-state, brain-washed motives and methods to ALL rednecks.

It just aint so.

My little brother (he's not so little) sent me to a website that was having a very heavy discussion on Evolution and it's proper place in the school. No big deal really, other than the fact that this website was a redneck's dream!

Here's the site...PLEASE, if you have the least interest in bow hunting, go check these great bunch of people out.

Well, my brother wanted me to offer my opinion and maybe a bit of insight...I do have 8 years of school and a deep, deep interest and love of science...but when I saw the website, I immediately thought, "Oh boy, here we go. This is gonna be a bunch of ignorant fuck rednecks, screaming about science disrupting their God given world view."

But boy was I wrong...way wrong. I read the discussion and was absolutely astonished and a bit ashamed, because this was one of THE most reasoned, thoughtful and compassionate discussions I'd ever read. Period. Even liberal web sites will get inflamed over such a discussion, yet here these guys were, with many different opinions both for/against Evolution, for/against Creationism being taught alongside Evolution, etc conducting reasoned discussion. In short, I had to reconstruct my world view of rednecks. Now, I'm sure that not everybody in the discussion is a redneck, but after talking with my brother about this, it appears that most of 'em are. I have rarely been involved in a discussion as compelling and FUN. Everyone was flat out courteous and respectful. What d'ya wanna bet that they drive well too? I can't apologize enough.

I only wish our leaders were rednecks.